Short one liner's and fillers

1. Subject: News Flash

Cessna 152 Plane Crash

A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in

central Slobovia. Slobovian search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far

and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

2. 1st person: "Excuse me, but is that the sun or the moon."

2nd person: "I don't know. I'm new to these parts too."

3. A boy is sitting on the lake with a fishing pole in hand. There is a NO FISHING sign

nearby. The game warden appears.

Fisherman: Are you the game warden.

Game warden: Yep!

Fisherman: Just teaching him how to swim (pointing to the worm on the pole)

4. (Boy runs on interrupting leader): "We interrupt this program for an important news flash."

Turns flashlight on and off, shining it in the audience's eyes. (Most effective at a campfire)

5. First Scout: I bet I can jump higher then a house.

Second Scout: I bet you can't.

First Scout: Yes I can. Did you ever see a house jump.

6. Someone walks on pulling a rope. The leader asks "What are you pulling that rope for."

He answers, "Did you ever try to push one."

7. Scout 1:(running on stage) "They're after me!"

Scout 2: "Who's after you."

Scout 1: "The squirrels! They think I'm nuts!"

8. Fortune Teller: "That will be $20 for two questions."

Client: "Isn't that a lot of money for two questions."

Fortune Teller: "Yes, it is. Now what is your second question."

9. The Announcement

Campfire chief and a volunteer in the audience

Campfire Chief: And now it's time to make a spot announcement.

(Dog barks from the audience.) Thank you Spot.

10. Two boys playing quick draw:

1st boy: "My Scoutmaster (Cubmaster etc.) can shoot a gun faster than any man in the

West."

2nd boy: "Really." What do they call your Scoutmaster."

1st boy: "Toeless Joe."

11. 1st boy: "I heard you had an accident on your hike today."

2nd boy: "No but I did get bitten by a rattlesnake."

1st boy: "You don't call that an accident."

2nd boy: "Heck no, he did that on purpose."

12. Big Chief: Bring in 10 scalps, kill 5 buffalo bare handed and go into desert without

water for a moon. Then I will pronounce you Big Brave. You understand.

Indian Brave: Yes. What do I do to get pronounced Little Brave.